I have a long time friend who was dying of cancer. In fact, she passed away just this morning. She was doing better and we thought she would pull through, but two weeks ago she took a drastic turn for the worst. I stopped by to visit her several times. I brought over food. I sent positive text messages to her and her husband. But really, at the beginning of all this I thought to myself, “what can I do for my friend?”
In spite of this blog, it took me a while to think about writing her a letter. When I did think of writing her, I was nervous. My friend is so brilliant and introspective, and thoughtful and dynamic. I wasn’t sure what to write. Just as many of you are unsure. But I followed my steps about how to write a letter and I did it. And, the last step–giving it to your loved one–was hard. Because my letter wasn’t really very good. It didn’t say anything earth-shaking. It seemed so inadequate.
But the point is that I DID write the letter and I DID give it to her. My friend read it when I left the room; when I returned and as I was leaving she said, “thank you.” That was enough.
I’m glad I didn’t wait to write the letter and deliver it. The next time I saw my friend, even though she was to live a while longer, she would not have been capable of reading my letter because she was too weak. Someone could have read it to her, but then she would miss making her observation to me, “I especially like the letterhead.” (I had typed it on business stationery!) And I would’ve missed that last loving, sassy remark from my friend.
I’m glad I didn’t wait to write the letter and deliver it. Now I feel a peace knowing that she knew for certain how important she is/was to me, how she inspired me.
I’m glad I didn’t wait to write the letter and deliver it. One never knows what tomorrow will bring.
I encourage you to write a letter to your loved one. To your mother for Mother’s Day. To your son who is graduating. To your daughter who is leaving your family and starting her own.
I will share my letter (as bush-league as it is) in a later post.